A ship named Hal 9000

I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon is best described as Inception meets Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in SPACE (echo). Although originally I wanted to write about Martine, I could not overlook Siri on steroids. 

Everyone else aboard the ship lay in an unknowing state -- he was the exception, as if bad karma had attacked him for obscure reasons. Worst of all, he had to depend totally on the goodwill of the ship. Suppose it elected to feed him monsters?(360)

Reality versus perception is a major theme in the story and the ship seems to help define them both. Victor's dependence of the ship to keep him alive is much like that of God. Arguably the ship symbolizes perception and God symbolizes reality... at least to Victor. The ship's only desire is to preserve Victor's life and make him happy while Victor's reality, being memories of guilt and worthlessness only condemn him.  His condemnation is due to his perception of God and sin which is a result of trauma as a four year old.

Why would the ship decided to keep him alive if it would result in Victor losing his sanity?

Inescapable

" There is too much fear in him and too much guilt. He has buried it all, and yet it is still there, worrying him like a dog worrying a rag." (304)

Phillip K. Dick's "I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon" is built upon the dichotomy of memory and reality. In a world in which aging is something that can be halted and thus it is common for people to live far beyond 200 years, Victor Keannings remains haunted by two memories: the memory of his first wife who later leave him and the memory of a day when he was a boy and helped his cat eat a bird.  The quote above indicates that Dick's argument is that we as humans are defined by things in our memory that have struck us and that have hurt us, and that these effects are permanent. In the quote, it is also important to note that even though Keannings has "buried" these two memories, they still exist within him. Thus, Dick's argument also incorporates the idea that we cannot consciously choose which parts of our past affect us. 

Discussion Question: How do these two specific memories affect each other within the realm of Keannings psyche? 

Are we there yet?

In the short story "I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon" Philip K. Dick illustrates a futuristic story about, Mr. Kemmings, a man caught in space and forced to live within the confines of his own mind for ten years. At first, he is given memories to relive but once those memories become tainted by his guilty conscience, he is only allowed to look toward his seemingly unattainable future. After living out this future memory of arriving to the planet so many times he cannot believe it when he is actually there.

"'I'm going to try reliving the part with the cat,' he said, 'and this time not pick up the cat and not let it get the bird. If I do that, maybe my life will change so that it turns into something happy. Something that is real. My real mistake was separating from you. Here; I'll put my hand through you.' He placed his hand against her arm. The pressure of his muscles was vigorous; she felt the weight, the physical presence of him, against her. 'See?' he said. 'It goes right through you'" (373).

This moment represents Mr. Kemmings disillusionment and confusion towards the present. He has relived this future moment so many times that he cannot even tell when the real moment comes. Mr. Kemmings places his hand on Martine and thinks it goes completely through her. In this moment Mr. Kemmings cannot discern between reality and memory. He is left completely confused and unable to live out his current life because of his obsession with the past. The inability to distinguish between memory and reality imprisons him within himself and ultimately within his own altered reality.

Can Mr. Kemmings ever overcome the obstacle of living within his own memory? Are we all somewhat trapped within our own disillusioned realities?

too much repetition

"I've lived this often enough now," he said. "I've lived this over and over again. I come out of suspension; I walk down the ramp; I get my luggage; sometimes I have a drink at the bar and sometimes I come directly to my room. Usually I turn on the TV and then --" He came over and held his hand toward her. "See where the bee stung me?"
She saw no mark on his hand (372)

"I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon" is a story about memories. Victor Kemmings has been suspended in a ship reliving his past and reconstructed memories. His guilt of killing the bird taints and eventually ruins him (367). His own guilt eats away at his conscience leaving him psychotic. He has lived the same memory for ten years that he is unable to recognize what is real from what is artificial. His only notion of reality is based on his basic routine in which he has varied his actions, but he has come to realization that he is living a simulation created by the ship. Kemmings is unable to grasp reality when his routine changes. When he actually lands on the new world, Martine comes back into his life, his hand does not go through the wall, and there is no mark on his hand from a bee sting. He disregards this tangible evidence and continues on as if it were recirculated memory. Ten years has taken its toll as Victor is now delusional yet eerily content with his ex-wife living in what he believes is a fabrication. With reality so close, the ending of the story is rather depressing.

Is Victor's state of psychosis better than being in a vegetative state?

A Nightmare in the Sky

This story is more of a nightmare than the ones we have read previously when characters are killed horrifically. I can't imagine being stuck taunted by old memories, tainting any good memories, and damaging any future ones. This is my idea of hell.  There are many symbols and motifs that continually resurface into his thoughts: the bee, the bird, the poster, but I think the most important and the most interesting reoccurring theme is that of guilt. "Turning, he gazed back up at the ship. Maybe I ought to go back, he thought. Have them freeze me forever. I am a man of guilt, a man who destroys. Tears filled his eyes (Dick, 103)." Even though it is a futuristic story, while the ship is helping Victor to reminisce on his life, the memories become cyclical and biblical in a sense. Religion is not really addressed, G-d is once mentioned, but he seems like a Catholic (at least a Christian of sorts) drowning in his own suppressed guilt. Every memory the ship plants in his mind ends in tears and weeping, like he was never forgiven for what his four-year-old self did.

Question: Is religion a major underlying theme or is he simply tainted by a guilty conscience?